


I'm at a Loss For Words

by celestia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 19:37:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3908062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestia/pseuds/celestia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima has ridden the train up to Tokyo to take a mock exam for Tokyo University. He planned on having his brother pick him up and staying at his place, but that won't be happening. Akiteru's boss isn't letting him out early. That leads Tsukishima to call the one person in Tokyo he knew would help him, Kuroo Tetsurou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm at a Loss For Words

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this fic on my phone and thought ahh it'll be a short drabble. Nope. It took over a week to write I never expected to make a long fic.
> 
> The song used in the fic (and that's referenced in the title) is Da Vinci by Weezer

Forgetting to wear gloves and a scarf was the first bad decision Tsukishima Kei figured out within the first four minutes of his train ride. In the dead of winter it should be a no brainer to wear them, but Tsukishima's mind was in other places tonight. Sure it was a cold night but he had to catch this train to Tokyo so little things like that were easily forgotten. Tomorrow is the mock entrance exam for Tokyo University and Tsukishima was dead set on getting in. This practice exam was essential for studying later on.

Luckily, he happened to have an older brother living in Tokyo. They had planned the weekend where Tsukishima would come up to stay with him at his apartment. He'd get dinner and study at Akiteru's then wake up and take the mock exam and go home. With the cold setting in, Tsukishima decided it wouldn't be a terrible idea to maybe take a nap then think about how cold it was. He had quite a few hours to go.

...

The train pulled into the station a bit before ten. It was dark and a lot colder than Tsukishima remembered it was before he got on the train. It was only when he got off the train that his phone bothered at all to show him he had three missed calls from Akiteru and one voicemail.

"Kei, please forgive me. My boss won't let up on me right now. We're short on people and I have to work overtime. It'll be about twelve before I can get off and twelve thirty until I could even pick you up. Aaaand I may have the only key to my apartment on me. If you can wait that long at the station I can pick you up then. I am so so so sorry, Kei. Call me when you can. Bye."

Tsukishima could only come up with one word to describe his emotion right now: livid. He punched Akiteru's cell number in as quickly as he could. The phone picked up after three rings in and before Akiteru could say anything Kei made sure to get the first word.

"Akiteru, what the fuck!?"  
"Aha.. Kei you got my message?"

Tsukishima's hands ball up in rage, "Oh yeah, of course I got the message saying you couldn't pick me up for another two hours! I got that one loud and clear! What the fuck!?"

Akiteru's voice was strained as he spoke. "I knew you'd respond like this," he said and quickly added, "I would be, too, but I really can't help it tonight! My boss really won't let up."

A major sigh could be heard through the phone. "Akiteru, what am I supposed to do," Kei said quietly. "It's a little before ten. I'm alone in Tokyo, I don't know the city well, and I have a mock exam tomorrow. What am I supposed to do?"

It was now Akiteru's turn to sigh. "Kei, I'm sorry. I'm not too sure. You can find an all night restaurant, maybe? Wait a second! Mom told me you had a training camp for a week here in Tokyo, Right?"

"Yeah? If you think I know the area because of that you're an even bigger idiot. We stayed at some place nearby the school so we could have more time to play with the other teams."

"Exactly!" Akiteru said with a little more life in his voice, "There had to be some kids from there you’ve met that live in Tokyo. Probably most of them."

Dryly Kei asked, "What are you getting at here?"

"Come on, Kei! I know you aren't the most social, but you had to have made friends there right?"

Silence.

"Acquaintances?"

"What are you implying?" It was cold. Tsukishima didn't get where this was going.

"There has to be someone you can call. Whether you realize it or not, Kei, people tend to like you. Even if you don't like them. Call one up, play nice for a bit, and if it's that bad I can pick you up after work, okay? Shit- I gotta go! Text me, okay?"

And like that the phone call was over.

It took Tsukishima a bit to think over who:  
1) he met at the camp  
2) had his number from the camp  
3) would actually let him stay over from the camp

Outside of just his teammates, he had only really met people while working in the third gym. He didn't feel particularly close to any of the people there. There was Akaashi Keiji. He was a very collected guy who was easily the most sane. Tsukishima never felt the need to get his number though, so he was out of the question. There was Bokuto Koutarou. Dear God, no. He was loud, obnoxious, and probably wouldn’t let him sleep if he stayed with him. There was no way he could study there. That left Kuroo Tetsurou as his only option. He was as troublesome as they get, but to Tsukishima's chagrin he did have his number.

Insistent and determined to get Tsukishima to work after practice with him led to Tsukishima actually getting better over the course of the week. Constant nagging ledto Tsukishima surrendering into giving Kuroo his phone number. This led to a few texts when he came back from Miyagi, but Kuroo was shot down many times by Tsukishima. Thinking about the fact he would have to initiate the first contact since nearly gave Tsukishima a headache. It was getting colder and he really had no choice at this point.

Reluctantly looking through his short list of contacts, he found Kuroo's name and clicked call. Each ring filled him with more dread than the last. It felt like an eternity when Tsukishima heard the click of Kuroo picking up.

"Tsukki? What are you doing calling me? Not that I mind! It's just been a while since we texted." Tsukishima could hear the mix of nervousness and excitement in Kuroo's voice. To which he returned with a sigh.

"Yeah...well, I don't have many contacts who live in Tokyo. Actually, it's only you and my brother."

Quickly, Kuroo responded, "You're in Tokyo?!"

"Yes I am. I don't feel like explaining everything right now because I'm fucking cold. My brother is stuck at work and can't pick me up. Can you?"

There isn't a pause before Kuroo says, "Yeah! Sure! What station are you at?"

Tsukishima fills Kuroo in on where he is and reminds him how cold it is. Kuroo tells him it isn't that far and he can get there in about ten minutes. Kuroo may not be his first choice for picking him up, but he makes sure to thank him on the phone. 

Kuroo keeps his promise and is there within ten minutes. He shows up in a beige car that obviously has trouble starting up.

Opening the door and stepping in Tsukishima mumbles "Nice ride. Very you."

Kuroo obviously heard the dig as he says in response, "Excuse you, I paid for this myself. If it upsets you that much you can leave."

Catching the last line's joking manner, Tsukishima moves to open the side passenger seat door, but Kuroo grabs him before and makes a face that shows genuine worry. "Tsukki, if you go back out there you'll get sick and I am not letting that happen! Alright, where am I taking you tonight?"

Hearing that Tsukishima flinches and mumbles "Shit..." As Kuroo cocks his head to the side and shows confusion, Tsukishima slightly has his breath taken away. Kuroo leaned toward the side where his hair usually falls over his eyes and now he has a clear view. Before too long Kuroo catches his attention.

"Tsukki, what's up?" His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion as one hand is draped over the steering wheel.

Tsukishima lets his head fall to his hands to cover his face. He can't believe he forgot to mention the key part of this situation. He doesn't bother looking up; he just mumbles into his hands.

"My brother has the only key to his apartment." Tsukishima's face is burning. He forgot to tell Kuroo he'll need to stay at his place for a while. "My brother can pick me up around twelve thirty...if I can stay at your place for a few ho-" but Tsukishima was cut off before he could finish.

"You can just stay at my house. It's not that big of a deal." Kuroo laughs at takes his free hand to pat Tsukishima's back. "Honestly, Tsukki, it's no big deal! My dad is out on business and my mom loves when people come over! We should have some left overs I can heat up for you! My house is a bit cramped, but we can make room!"

Tsukishima looks up to see Kuroo beaming a bright smile at him. This just causes him to throw his head down again and mumble a quiet “thanks”.

Kuroo puts the car in drive and puts on the radio. Tsukishima looks out the window fighting embarrassment most of the ride to Kuroo's place. He also texts Akiteru letting him know he has a place to stay for the night. 

They pull into the driveway of a small house. It's cute, but definitely small like Kuroo said. Tsukishima takes his things out and the two of them walk to the door. As they step in Kuroo lets his mom know that they're home.

"Hey mom! I'm home! And I brought over a friend. He's gonna stay the night, okay?"

"Tetsurou, I'm coming!" Tsukishima hears a sweet voice saying from upstairs. The woman comes down and it is clear to see that she is, indeed, Kuroo's mom. She's quite a bit shorter than Kuroo, but has the same jet black hair and eye color Kuroo has.

"Mom, this is Tsukishima. He's from Miyagi." Kuroo gestures towards Tsukishima. 

Tsukishima bows and asks her how she's doing. He makes sure to thank her for showing up with such short notice.

"It's perfectly fine, Tsukishima-kun. Miyagi is quite a distance! I'm assuming you know Tetsurou from volleyball?" Tsukishima nods and Kuroo's mom pulls him in to whisper, "To think Tetsurou is able to bring such a cute boy home with looks like his! Thank you for putting up with him."

Tsukishima blushes and sputters out, "Ah! it's really not like that! I just - it's, I-"

She cuts Tsukishima off with a smile and says, "No matter the case, it is not a problem staying here. If you need anything let me know."

Kuroo has his hands in his face when Tsukishima turns around. He mumbles, "Please ignore anything she says. She just likes to embarrass me a lot." He drags his hands down his face to see Tsukishima laughing "Let's just put your things up stairs."

As they walk up the narrow stairs Tsukishima can obviously see that not knowing what his mom said to Tsukishima is clearly having an effect on him. There are only three rooms upstairs, Kuroo's room, Kuroo's parent's room, and the bathroom. Kuroo wasn't kidding when he said it was cramped. 

Tsukishima set his stuff down and got a good look at Kuroo's room. Kuroo had a small bed, a TV with a console and controllers, a laptop on a desk, and a small kotatsu. There were some posters and books that were all over his desk. It was a very similar set up to the downstairs living room. Downstairs, there was also had the kitchen and another bathroom. Living in Tokyo did lead to smaller houses compared to living in the country. Tsukishima tried hard not to think about how little space there was for a futon.

Kuroo asked Tsukishima if he could get him anything to eat or drink. He said it didn’t matter and Kuroo responded with, “I’ll take that as a yes. Do you just want rice or something? I can cook some mean fried rice. I’ll bring up some water too.”

Tsukishima nodded at Kuroo’s suggestion for fried rice. He spent what seemed like forever on the train, followed by the mess of finding out Akiteru couldn’t pick him up and having to stay at Kuroo’s place. He was hungry. Tsukishima never liked to intrude very much, but Kuroo was able to pick out that Tsukishima needed food.

He always was able to pick out a lot of Tsukishima’s quirks. With all the things he did, he was one of the only two people that got away with calling him Tsukki. It’s not like it matters too much, or did it? Tsukishima isn’t one to get close to people and using a nickname is one sign of becoming close. He usually corrects people sharply when they say Tsukki, but with Kuroo it was too tiresome. Always insisting to call him Tsukki, it was just easier to give up and let him. Yet some how he didn’t give up when it came to Bokuto saying it, or even the rest of his teammates. 

Tsukishima shoves the thoughts to the back of his mind and pulls out one of his exam books. English. Tsukishima is very good at English. He may not be fluent, but his teammates always come to him for help with English. Opening up to the practice exercises, he begins to smell Kuroo’s cooking. It smells great. Kuroo was probably right about being able to cook fried rice well. It made focusing on English a little hard when Tsukishima began to focus on the smell of the food being made solely for him. Could he hear Kuroo humming? He wouldn’t put it past him. 

_Focus! Focus! You came to Tokyo to take a practice exam not listen to Kuroo hum while cooking._

Giving himself the closest thing to a pep talk that he could, he began to bring himself back to focus. He had to read a passage in English, then respond to the questions based on the reading which were also in English.

“English, hm?” Kuroo was placing down the food, water, and chopsticks in front of Tsukishima while slightly resting his head on Tsukishima’s shoulder while bending down to do so. Not noticing Tsukishima’s rising blush, he leans in a little further to look at the question. “Hm...Tsukki, I’m not sure if that’s the right answer, but I don’t know actually. Don’t listen to me.” He looks at Tsukishima’s hands. They’re stiff, frozen in place. It takes Kuroo a second to realize he did this. He jumps back a little and sits next to him instead of leaning on him from behind. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to see what you were working on.”

Tsukishima takes a deep breath before saying, “It’s fine. You just startled me a little.” Even though it was more than a little. Tsukishima quietly began to eat. He looked to Kuroo “You are a good cook. I thought you’d brag about it more?” He cocked an eyebrow at Kuroo.

Suddenly it became Tsukishima’s turn to embarrass Kuroo. He gave a nervous laugh, “So I’ve been told. Can’t I be humble about a few things?” He scratched the back of his neck and Tsukishima turned back to his plate and continued eating. 

Working on his exam book while eating left just a tiny bit of rice outside of his mouth that went unnoticed by Tsukishima. Kuroo, on the other hand, noticed it like it smacked him in the face. How could someone so careful like Tsukishima not notice rice on his mouth? It was ridiculous. So ridiculous he began to laugh. Practically done with his work, Tsukishima closed his book and turned to Kuroo.

“What?” he said with a deadpan expression.

“Tsukki, really?” Kuroo’s better judgement told him not to, but he ignored it with ease. He lifted his hand up and brushed Tsukishima’s mouth where the rice was. Kuroo then smiled and placed the rice in his own mouth. “You're right Tsukki, I really am a great cook. I should brag about it more.”

With that, Kuroo got up and grabbed a towel. “I don’t know about you Tsukki, but I need to shower. You can use it when I’m done or in the morning if you want.”

Tsukishima didn’t even turn towards Kuroo as he said, “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” before waving him off. 

When Kuroo shut the door Tsukishima immediately let his head fall. Why did Kuroo have to do these things? Why does Kuroo constantly embarrass him? It’s not fair. How the hell can he make his heart race after not seeing him in months? 

Tsukishima’s mind just has to remind im of what Kuroo’s mom said earlier, "To think Tetsurou is able to bring such a cute boy home with looks like this! Thank you for putting up with him." Tsukishima completely crumbles. This can’t be happening. Kuroo’s mom was able to figure out how he felt about Kuroo before he could. He brings his head up off the table and thinks pathetic to himself.

No matter what happens in his life, Tsukishima’s solution is to always to put his headphones on and blast music to ignore everything. It’s not the best solution, but it works most of the time. He pulls out his headphones, slips them on, and blasts the music. For extra measure, he pulls out another book for studying. It’s just a history book, so it’s only reading up on what will probably be on the exam.

_“Even Da Vinci couldn't paint you, and Stephen Hawking can't explain you.”_

_Stop._

_“Rosetta Stone could not translate you. I'm at a loss for words, I'm at a loss for words.”_

_No._

_“I couldn't put it in a novel, I wrote a page but it was awful.”_

_Why?_

“ _Now I just wanna sing your gospel.”_

_Shut up!_

_“I'm at a loss for words, I'm at a loss for words.”_

_Why does my music know my heart better than my mind?_

It’s becoming harder for Tsukishima to focus. Everything is reminding him of Kuroo. His music, his work, his everything. At this point his music was on full blast and he could barely read a sentence in his book without feeling frustrated. It wasn’t until there was a shadow over his book and a drop of water fell onto his arm that he realized Kuroo walked in the room.

“Hey? Isn’t that a little loud? You’ll hurt your ears and stay up late.” Kuroo is looking down to Tsukishima with a towel draped over his head. He’s wearing a white shirt with red sleeves and grey pajama pants. How does someone look so good in something so casual and simple?

Tsukishima pulls his headphones down and glares at Kuroo. “I need to study.” It’s cold and to the point. He puts his headphones back on only to have them tugged off.

Kuroo is sitting down behind Tsukishima and doesn’t hesitate to put his head on his shoulder. He reaches over Tsukishima’s arms to grab the book out of his hands and put it on the table.

In a calm voice Kuroo says, “Tsukki, if this is your plan for studying, it’s not a good one. You’ll get a headache and won’t be able to fall asleep. Then you’ll wake up and not feel good. That’s no way to prepare for an exam, even if it’s just a mock.” Kuroo lifted himself up and extended his hand to Tsukishima. “Come on, get up. You’re going to bed.”

Tsukishima looks up to see Kuroo giving a gentle smile. He takes his hand and lets Kuroo pull him up. He quickly turns away and grabs his hand back. His heart is racing. There is no way in hell he’s going to let Kuroo figure that out.

“I, uh, didn’t bring pajamas. I expected to be at Akiteru’s place. I have some of my clothes there for when I stay over.” Tsukishima’s fingers were interlaced as he said this, unsure of what he should be doing. 

“No problem! Lemme grab something for you. It’s still a bit chilly in here; I’ll get you something long sleeved.” He moves to his closet to grab clothes. He turns around to give Tsukishima a loose, black, long sleeve v-neck tshirt. For pants, he gives Tsukishima a thin pair of green pajama bottoms. “I personally don’t like thick pants when I sleep in bed so that’s why you’re getting the thin ones.”

Gesturing to the bed, he nods his head to direct Tsukishima to it. Tsukishima is fine with sleeping in the bed, but the question is _where will Kuroo sleep?_ there’s obviously only room for one. Tsukishima sits on the bed. It’s nice and comfortable.

“Uh, where will you be sleeping?” Tsukishima doesn’t even try to look at Kuroo when he asks this question. The blush is already rising to his cheeks before he says it.

“Oh me? Don’t worry. I’m just gonna get pillows and stay under the kotatsu. You’re the one with the test tomorrow, you get the bed.” He made it seem like a no brainer, but he started to stretch his neck a bit. Sleeping on the floor never makes for a good night’s sleep. “Really, don’t worry about it.”

“No futon?”

“Nah, we don’t really have enough space for them. I told you this place was tight. Either way, I’d rather sleep with a warm kotatsu than have a futon, alright? Now go to bed and I’ll turn out the light.”

Tsukishima would be lying if he didn’t feel at least a bit guilty. He basically forced Kuroo to pick him up, take him in, and now make him sleep on the floor. Regardless, Tsukishima knew that Kuroo wouldn’t let up and his only option was to lay down and sleep like Kuroo told him to. When he got comfortable and took his glasses off, Kuroo turned out the lights. But sleep was not going to come to Tsukishima so easy. _Tsukishima was sleeping in Kuroo’s bed._ There was no way that he’d quickly fall asleep. He took his time to take everything in. The white sheets matched with the dark blue comforter, and he only had one pillow on the bed. Kuroo took three for the ground. Tsukishima felt another pang of guilt.

Lying down, Tsukishima inhaled Kuroo’s scent, intensified from just being near him. It was much stronger seeing how Kuroo sleeps here every night. His sheets smell of vanilla vaguely mixed with other spices. Tsukishima got goosebumps thinking about it and turned to smell the shirt he was wearing, _Kuroo’s shirt._ It smelled incredibly good and Tsukishima immediately thought about how he could maybe sneak the shirt back to Miyagi without Kuroo noticing. No way. Not a chance. 

Tsukishima’s heart pace slowly came to a normal pace. His eyes were drooping, almost ready to give in to sleep. But of course, his phone had to buzz. Text from Akiteru. Tsukishima angrily opened it up, cursing Akiteru because he had nearly fallen asleep only to have now been blinded by the light of his phone.

__

_Kei!_  
_I just got off of work. Thank god you found someone to stay with because I’m about to pass out. I can pick you up after your exam, okay? Tell me you’re getting along well with whoever you’re with. Tell them thanks, too!_

Akiteru can’t see the angry scowl he’s giving, but somewhere off in the distance he’s feeling it. Just when Tsukishima is about to calm down and fall asleep his older brother, once again, has to go ruining it. How long has it been since he went to bed? Damn it! It’s been nearly an hour. This is gonna keep him up even longer. 

The light from his phone seems to show... a shadow? No, a figure…Kuroo’s figure. He turns his phone’s brightness almost all the way down and turns the phone in Kuroo’s direction. Goofy as he is while he’s awake, he’s the same as he sleeps. One of the three pillows he took is under his face. The other two pillows are shoved to each side of his face as he pushes them together in his sleep. Tsukishima lets out a quiet laugh. But then he notices something....Kuroo’s _shivering._

Another pang of guilt bolts through Tsukishima. How does Kuroo expect him to sleep soundly when he can easily see Kuroo shivering like there’s no tomorrow. The kotatsu isn’t giving him nearly enough warmth. Tsukishima grumbles. 

_Why I am bothered by this? Why is this keeping me up? Why can’t I just fucking sleep?_

Oh wait, I like Kuroo.

Tsukishima falls back on Kuroo’s bed, wondering what to do. He’s in the boy he likes’ bed while the boy he likes is shivering on the ground. Running options through his head, they all suck. Solutions were never Tsukishima’s strong points.

Wake Kuroo up and insist he sleeps in his own bed?  
_No, Kuroo will refuse._  
2) Grab a blanket and put it under the kotatsu?  
_No. That sounds idiotic and it will wake him up with all the fumbling that will be involved. Besides, dumbass, you don’t know where any spare blankets are._  
3) Sleep under the kotatsu with him?  
_No. No. No. No. NO. There is literally no way to explain that if he wakes up, when he wakes up. What am I supposed to tell him? “You were cold and I decided to share body warmth?” “I wanted to sleep on the ground, your bed was uncomfortable.” No, this is stupid. Fuck._

Against everything Tsukishima stands for, he decides to go with number 3. At this point he knows that his mock isn’t going to go as good as it could have gone, but that was apparent when Akiteru left him the first voicemail. 

Tsukishima gingerly steps out of bed. No matter what, this is probably going to be the most embarrassing thing he has ever done, but if Kuroo wakes up beforehand it’ll be even worse. The kotatsu isn’t that far away. He takes a pillow with him, because there is no way he would be able to get one of Kuroo’s pillows. The closer he gets to the kotatsu the more nervous he gets. Even in the dark Tsukishima can see Kuroo’s back slowly moving up and down with each breath. The closer he gets, the more intense his shivers seem. His waist up is out of the kotatsu so none of the warmth is getting to him.

Tsukishima is fully crouched down at this point. He slowly sits down and places the pillow where he’ll rest his head in a bit. Sliding under the kotatsu is a bit tricky, seeing as he doesn’t know if Kuroo’s legs are spread out. Surprisingly, they aren’t. Just like that, Tsukishima is lying down. He sighs a little too loudly for his own liking and makes his way slightly towards Kuroo. The point of this was to share body warmth after all. 

Instantly Kuroo's body reacted to the newfound warmth next to him. Kuroo lazily scooted close to Tsukishima, trying to take all the warmth in. Within seconds, he released one of his arms from his pillow to drape over Tsukishima. With his body being lankier than Kuroo's, Kuroo pulled his arm in more to get every bit of body heat he could scramble to get. Tsukishima felt like he was burning and tried his best to convince himself that it was because of Kuroo's body heat and not his own embarrassment. That, however, quickly failed. Tsukishima wasn't exactly in the most comfortable position, so he slowly turned on his side. Which of course by chance facing towards Kuroo, to which Kuroo responded with Kuroo pulling him in even closer.

Tsukishima's hands were clenched to the shirt he was borrowing. At this point there was easily no escape. He was completely pulled in by Kuroo and even though he was asleep it would be impossible to break free from his grasp. Tsukishima was closer than ever. Tsukishima never even let anyone get this close. He took a deep breath through his nose, yet that backfired in the attempt to calm himself down. Kuroo's aroma came in clearer than ever. The vanilla with the hint of other spices ran through Tsukishima's body. Kuroo smelled so good it was unfair. Tsukishima would put down money that Kuroo could feel his heart beating out of his chest even while sleeping.

...

When Kuroo was downstairs cooking rice, his mom leaned on the kitchen counter and startled Kuroo. Kuroo jumped a bit and looked at his mom smiling knowingly.

"You really like that boy, don't you?" 

Kuroo's heart froze for a second "Mom, stop it! I do not!" Tturning back to his cooking, it was easily visible how much he was blushing, "Whatever you told him earlier...just...don't do it again." He turned away from his mom.

She touched her son's arm slightly. "Tetsurou, embarrassing her child is a mother's job. I'll ease up. I promise."

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"But don't think I don't notice how you smile like that around him. You've never had a good pokerface." 

Again Kuroo flinches. _Why is she always spot on?_

"He seems like a nice boy. Make sure you treat him well." And with that she turned away to walk up the stairs.

"Mom, thanks. Please don't let him know, okay?" He sighs, knowing there's no point in lying to her. They have a really good relationship and his mom is all knowing. If Kuroo hadn't been short on time he may have talked to her more in depth, but right now he can't afford burn the rice.

...

Kuroo was almost positive he felt a surge of heat running through his torso. Freezing as he was, he didn't bother opening his eyes. He pulled it closer. It moved around slightly and with that motion, thinking it might get away, he pulls it even closer.

Kuroo was most definitely awake though. Sleepy, drowsy, but awake. But finally warm. It's a little odd though he knows he's not completely under the kotatsu. He can't fit. Then it smacks him in the face.

_Whatever it is, it's breathing._

Slowly, up and down he feels something next to him rise and fall. He can hear tiny breaths being made, almost silent, but not quite. The breaths are close to his neck. The light feeling leaves goosebumps to suddenly run through his body. His thought process is slow. He nearly falls asleep a few times before he finally realizes.

_Tsukki is next to me. Tsukki is under my arm. Tsukki is sleeping curled up into me. Tsukki got out of bed to sleep down here with me._

His heat skyrockets as the blush runs throughout his entire body. 

_Did Tsukki notice I was cold? No way… I mean... I probably wasn’t shivering that bad? Maybe he sleepwalks?_

Kuroo, as slowly and gently as possible, inches his way to get a close look at Tsukishima. He’s calm. His eyes are shut and with no glasses he can see how long his eyelashes are. His skin is so smooth looking, it takes a lot for him not to touch. Tsukishima’s mouth is slightly open, letting in air and letting it out with little to no noise. Tsukishima looks so at peace, it's incredible.

_How does Tsukki feel about me?_

Kuroo has always tried to push these thoughts away. He was over the moon when he got Tsukishima's number, but as their texts winded down so did his hopes. But now this? Kuroo doesn't know if his heart has ever beaten this fast before. Their faces are just inches apart.

_Can't you just let me know?_

By this time tomorrow you won't be here, but I just need to know...

_What do you think of me?_

It takes Kuroo all of his strength not to bring Tsukishima closer and just convince him to stay, to be with him. He can't do that though. It's unfair to Tsukishima. He just can't keep himself from being silent either...

With a quiver in his voice Kuroo starts to whisper, "Tsukki...I don't know if you're awake or not, but just let me talk for a bit. God...you make this so hard. Any time I see you I just feel so...like everything is better when you're around. Even though you're so far away, I just, I think about you a lot. I need to stop dancing around it. I like you."

Kuroo took a few deep breaths before continuing, "Yeah, I like you a lot. I like the way you smile, and the way your jokes aren't really jokes, and I like how you're a big nerd, and the way you speak, and how your presence lights up a room. I have this theory that when you laugh my heart rate goes through the roof. I don't even know if you're awake. confessing like this is so cheap and horrible. So if you are awake you don't need to say anything, but please..."

Kuroo paused for a moment.

"Please just stay like this for the night."

Once his heart calmed down a little he drifted asleep.

Once Kuroo had fallen asleep, Tsukishima had more time to let his heart race over the confession before he was able to fall asleep again.

...

Every word. Tsukishima had just listened to every word Kuroo said. No matter how hard he tried earlier, he couldn't get to sleep. He was curled up next to Kuroo there was no way he could fall asleep. _Now this?_

Kuroo's confession was echoing through his head. _I want to respond. I want to wake him up. I want to tell him how I feel_. However, fear runs through his body. _What if it doesn't work out? What if their texts dwindled down to nothing again? What if four hours was too far away? What if Kuroo meets someone better?_

_No. I can't think like this. I need to go for it. None of those questions will ever be answered by running them through my head over and over._

Tsukishima's heart is racing faster than ever. Kuroo has him wrapped in his arms. Tsukishima takes his hands and pushes off of Kuroo's chest to escape from his grasp. He slowly lifts himself up to a sitting position. Then he hears it. It's quiet but full of regret.

"I... I shouldn't have said it, Tsukki. I'm sorry I made you unco-" but he was cut off my by Tsukishima's hand covering his mouth.

"Stop that. Stay quiet, please." His hand moves away from Kuroo's face to intertwine with the hand resting in his own lap.

"It's rude of me to keep something like that unanswered." Tsukishima takes a deep breath and leans his head back. "You were right Kuroo, confessing while you thought I was asleep was cheap. I don't think I'll... I can't put my words out there like you do. Just know that-"

Kuroo's life probably had a few years shaved off of it waiting for the response.

"-Your feelings are...reciprocated." and like that Tsukishima quickly lied down, turning away from Kuroo in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. 

It didn’t even take Kuroo a full second before he latched on to Tsukishima. Kuroo’s smile seemed brighter than the moon on a clear night. The utter joy in his face was incredible to look at. As he hung on to Tsukishima he couldn’t even open his eyes, they were shut tight almost as if he looked it would all disappear.

Kuroo’s voice was dripping with happiness as he said, “Tsukki, I can’t believe this. I feel like I’m the happiest guy in the world right now.”

“It’s weird, I tried pushing you to the back of my mind. I ignored you completely, but you still liked me.” Tsukishima’s voice sounded, not melancholy, but perhaps a bit regretful. Had he knew how Kuroo felt he may have not pushed him away.The idea of a long distance relationship has _always_ scared Tsukishima. _It could never work out_ is what he constantly told himself as he would delete the message he thought about sending to Kuroo every so often.

Kuroo paused, taking a moment to think before saying, “It was worth it.” 

Tsukishima swore his heart was going to burst. How could he say that so calmly? How could he even manage to say that out loud? _It was worth it._ That will echo through his mind tonight, tomorrow, next week, _forever._

His train of _embarrassing_ thought was interrupted with Kuroo’s quick interjection, “Shit, Tsukki! It’s four AM! You have the test in six hours. We need to go to bed NOW. I can’t have you missing it, can I?”

Tsukishima paused for a moment, “There’s no way I’m going to go,” _I’m gonna go for this_. Tsukishima thinks as he leans in slowly to Kuroo’s cheek and kisses it lightly, “I won’t be able to focus anyway.”

Kuroo _slams_ his head down and says in a whine, “Oh my god, Tsukki you can’t just do that to me. This isn’t fair!” He slaps one of the pillows to his face and makes a fake, quiet scream. “I’m supposed to be the cool one here!”

Tsukishima places his hand over Kuroo’s, “Yeah, well, you missed that opportunity when you confessed while you thought I was asleep.” Despite calling Kuroo uncool for confessing like a coward, Tsukishima considers him one of the coolest people he knows. He’ll never tell him that though.

Kuroo pulls himself up with a goofy smile, laughing. He tightens his hand around Tsukishima’s. His expression goes to the more serious side. He looks straight into Tsukishima’s eyes. They’re bold, yet welcoming. Tsukishima can’t help but look straight back into them. Even though it’s dark, the passion in Kuroo’s eyes are evident.

Kuroo closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, face towards the floor. He slowly flutters them open as he lifts his head closer to Tsukishima’s. He waits a second before pushing forward. He wants to make sure Tsukishima is okay with this, _kissing_. Tsukishima doesn’t pull away, he closes his eyes and waits. This is Kuroo’s move. 

Kuroo takes the hand that was intertwined with Tsukishima’s and slowly raisesd it to cup his jaw. He smiles and places their foreheads together. Kuroo takes another breath and takes his other hand and places it on the back of Tsukishima’s neck. Kuroo immediately feels Tsukishima’s skin raise slightly with goosebumps. 

With all of the keys parts in order, Kuroo takes his move. Slowly, gently he brushes his lips against Tsukishima’s. Tsukishima’s lips are incredibly soft. Kuroo brings Tsukishima in for another kiss, slightly more pressure. _Is that strawberry chapstick?_

Kiss after kiss, it becomes just one more. Just one more…one more innocent kiss. No ulterior motive behind them. Their kisses are just for them. They’re making up for all the kisses they missed out on. Hello kisses, goodbye kisses, dear god I missed you kisses, do you know how cute you are? kisses, they’re making up for all the time lost. 

…

The digital alarm clock blinks 1:09 PM. Tsukishima was right, forget the practice exam.

Kuroo wakes up first and sees the time. _Thank god Tsukki decided to ditch the exam_. He then feels a bit of a tug on his shirt. 

_Tsukki._

Still sleeping, his possibly- boyfriend, was clinging to his shirt. Last night they didn’t really work out the details of their relationship. Who would want to stop what they had going last night to have a conversation about that? They’ll talk about it today. The idea of a long distance relationship is a bit terrifying, though.

Kuroo swoops down to kiss Tsukishima on the nose. To that Tsukishima’s eyes slowly open. His usually piercing eyes give off a gently glow in the morning.  
“Hm..’Mornin…” Tsukki mumbles as he rubs his eyes, “Can you grab my glasses? They’re on your bedside table.”

“Tsukki, what if you put your glasses on and don’t like me anymore!” Kuroo says in a melodramatic voice, “What if my looks turn you off?”

“When did they turn me on?” Tsukishima quickly retorted with a snicker.

Kuroo brings over his glasses and places them carefully on Tsukishima’s face. He may have done this in order to swoop in for a quick kiss. Now that they’re in the light, Kuroo can clearly see Tsukishima’s blush. Just imagining what it might have been like last night makes Kuroo have to turn away to hide his own.

Kuroo walks towards the window in his room and leans on the frame.

“Hey, Tsukki?” he says slowly.

“What’s the problem? You don’t sound normal.” 

_Damn. Tsukki was good at picking up on this._

“I’m scared.” It’s quick, but there is a lot of force behind Kuroo’s voice.

“Me, too,” Tsukishima says softly.

Kuroo turns back around, but doesn’t look at Tsukishima. He looks towards the ceiling as he begins to talk.

“Tsukki, I like you so much it isn’t fair. What did I do to become head over heels with someone who lives in another prefecture? But dear god I want us to work out. I want to go to bed like we did and wake up tangled together and kiss each other just because we can.” Kuroo’s hands cover his face as he makes some groaning noise indicating he isn’t getting everything he wants to say across.

Tsukishima rests his head on his knees. He makes a quick sigh before quietly murmuring, “I want to try.” He pauses before starting again, “I really want to try.”

Kuroo’s hands slide down his face. His jaw is slightly hanging open just a bit. He stumbles over to Tsukishima and drops down and pulls Tsukishima in his arms. He nuzzles his head into Tsukishima’s neck and whispers, “Thank god. I was so scared, so so scared that you wouldn’t want to.”

Tsukishima reaches up to Kuroo’s head and plays with his hair. For how horrible it looks, it’s incredibly soft. It’s calming for both of them. Tsukishima hums in response. Tsukishima has trouble voicing his feelings a lot and Kuroo knows that. They stay like that for a while.

Kuroo pulls himself away, but remains close to Tsukishima. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He reaches for Tsukishima’s hands and takes a hold of them and gives them a tiny squeeze. The squeeze is then returned.

Opening his eyes, he looks directly into Tsukishima’s.

“Tsukki- wait, no. Let me start over,” he shakes his head and restarts, “Tsukishima Kei, will you do the honor of becoming my boyfriend?” It’s said in a goofy tone, but Kuroo’s look makes it known that he’s serious about what he’s saying.

Tsukishima lets go of Kuroo’s hands to put them on his jaw. He goes in for a quick, but insistent kiss. When he pulls away he rests his forehead against Kuroo’s. “Of course, you idiot.”

Kuroo jumps up and yells “YES!” at almost the top of his lungs. He sits down on his feet and laughs. Kuroo begins talking quickly, “I didn’t think this would ever happen. I’ve had the biggest thing for you since forever. Even though you responded to my feelings last night...I feel like I’m dreaming.”

Tsukishima quickly covered his face and mumble, “Please _stop._ ”

“Nope! You just signed up for this.” Kuroo is smiling so hard that it’s starting to hurt

Tsukishima covered this face with his hands. It was different this time. He didn't feel a mix of regret and embarrassment, he felt happiness. There was someone out there who loved him unconditionally despite knowing his downfalls. Before he could continue that thought his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Kei! How did the exam go?" 

"I ended up not going," Tsukishima scratched his neck. He should have felt horrible and angry about not going, but he didn't. Not a bit at all.

"What? You were _hell bent_ on mom letting you come up here to do this!" 

Tsukishima got a bit red when he said, "Yeah, well, some stuff came up and I realized there were more important things than taking an exam. I think I made the right choice. Though losing my own money on the test fee is going to hurt for a bit."

Akiteru laughed at that, living by himself he understood money troubles. "Whatever happened, it's good you're happy with it. When should I pick you up? I was promised a day to hang out with my little brother regardless."

"Yeah, yeah, how about an hour?"

"Sounds good to me. Text me your friend's address, alright? Talk to you later!" and with that Akiteru hung up.

Kuroo inched closer and leaned his head on Tsukishima's shoulder. 

"More important things than taking an exam? Please share what those might be?" there was a teasing tone in Kuroo's voice. It was obviously mixed with fondness though.

"A good night's sleep." He shied away from Kuroo blushing madly. As he turned away, Kuroo kissed his cheeks.

"I'm just teasing. Let's go get breakfast. I know it's the afternoon, but I need to show off my breakfast cooking skills," Kuroo said with pride and started to get up. He extended a hand to Tsukishima to assist him in getting up.

He took the hand offered to him, "Oh yeah? What's your specialty? If it's cereal I'm gonna punch you."

Pretending to be offended, Kuroo made a disgusted face and placed one hand on his heart. He kept his other hand with Tsukishima's and intertwined their fingers.

"Tsukki, I am hurt! I'll have you know I make great pancakes. I can even make them in different shapes!"

"Okay then, I'll be the one to test that out. Let me say I have high standards."

"Oh, it's on!" Kuroo gave him a quick kiss on the lips before turning to the door.

"Kuroo, uh, shouldn't we...y'know," he gestured to their hands, questioning if they should let go. Kuroo's mom will be downstairs. Kuroo just tightened his grip in response.

"Nah, my mom figured out I had a crush on you within five minutes. She might be a bit embarrassing, but it's directed at me," Kuroo flashed a big smile. From what he saw of Kuroo's mom he was probably right, but Tsukishima couldn't help but worry.

"I promise, Tsukki. Now let me impress my cute boyfriend with delicious pancakes. Okay?"

Tsukishima returned Kuroo's squeeze, "Okay. They better be really good if I'm supposed to meet your mom for the second time, as your boyfriend now."

"Bring it _on_ ," just like that Kuroo's smile became a little more devious.

Nervous about having to face the first person to see him as Kuroo's boyfriend, he squeezed Kuroo's hand one last time before they exited his room. Somehow Tsukishima had a feeling that everything would turn out alright.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! since it was it was so long I had two friends beta it so god bless them (ao3 user mushishis and tumblr user koalatooru) also a big thanks to all of my friends on twitter for listening to me whine about just wanting to be done with this fic
> 
> any comments would be amazing!! thank you again!!!


End file.
